First of all, none of the universities reject your fruits (unless there was a transaction where you are the supplier to the university for that, of course). You bought into yet another one of our commercial click baits and you are about to be a business student!!! Come on!!! We expect so much better from you. But wait, this one can be useful for you. While we cannot talk about business schools rejecting your fruits, may be we can talk about them rejecting your applications for a little bit?
Let's start with the simplest one- YOU BUY INTO THE CLICK BAITS!! That is so not a good sign people, but lets get serious here. What do you think those people behind the desks are doing? Are they there to hand out letters to every princess that likes talking about how hard her life was living in a castle? Hell no! They mean business! So, I want you to look into the mirror and repeat after me- "I am gonna live and next cycle I am gonna cross the sparkle circle and portal into the business school" and I... am gonna take you there.
Alright peanut, get your special unicorn out as things are about to get real depressing coz this man is about to tell you why business school dumped ya so bad (very "professionally"). It almost feels like they invited you to a party only to make you watch others get their groove on while you were locked in the washroom, does it not?
REASON 1
YOU FORGOT THE RULES OF THE GAME
Yeah, some of you forgot to get your 🍑 in line and understand the rules. Don't give me that crap puppy dog look, I know you did not listen to any consultant out there and used your peanut brain to apply to all the stretch schools, didn't cha? Well.... how does it feel now that the business schools said the same thing back to you after their, "Don't self select yourself out" trick?
Alright Alright! Don't cry about it now. Going forward, just know that MBA Programs look for a certain group of people and you need to do your research to assess your fit. Check out the MBA Conquerors Checklist on the DIY page to get started on the next cycle. Be prepared! Diversify and own their 🍑 next cycle. And the DIY Page is free, so respect that crap! This ain't a thanksgiving giveaway, this is some serious stuff!
REASON 2
YOU HAD A SMALL ONE
The GMAT Score, of course, get your mind out of the gutter man, this is serious talk. You know what! Don't. Why should I care? It is not like MBA Conquerors didn't warn people of overrepresented pool that the score requirements are gonna be a concern given past data. And it is not like you looked at the average score and went, "May be my score is lower but I am a beast". Well.... here you are now Mr. BoyBeast, GMAT/GRE matters, this ain't your granny's tea party, you gotta get that thing up before everyone looks at it and goes, "meh, I've seen better"! Schools wanna build a snowman (or snowperson, I ain't getting cancelled for this one) with you but every time, they look at that thing they go.... "I want to, but I can't"
REASON 3
THEY WERE LOOKING FOR A PUPPY BUT YOU WERE THE WOLVERINE
And not the best wolverine with the yellow spandex and mask, the worst one, like the one I saw at the bar and had to bend over every time I wanted to speak to him as if he is 5'3". Now it is not like every school has a unique specialty or anything, right? They are all the same? M7s and the Ivy Leagues? WRONGGGGG!!!! Every school looks for a certain kind of leader, and you decided to show only one side of your 🍑 to them and not the good stuff schools look for and go, "that is some pure sh*t... right there". Come on, you people. Even Kellogg with their high empathy - high impact stuff knows they want some leaders leaning on the left. It is not a school's fault that they hate masculinity but your desperate 🍑 still applied without thinking if the school needs a puppy or a wolverine? Even if they said it covertly in their mission statement, didn't MBA Conquerors share a video on how to assess your leadership fit? But will your 🍑face watch it? No.... Because why watch the real stuff when you can just watch Wolverine until he's 90!
REASON 4
YOU STINK UP THE ROOM WITH YOUR FARTS
Take it from a man who paid his writers outta his own pockets, if your writers aren't paid well, they will just do lazy writing. And as some one who made a stinky green man movie, I can tell ya, you don't want lazy writing because lazy writing is just like silent farts- it stinks the worst. Coz you can't just say, "Catchphrase" and make it your catchphrase, it stinks hard! You gotta gear up man, give them what they get paid for- a story that will make them get off their seat and say, "This guy fv*ks". Wait that was a different show.... Silicon something... But you get the idea. It is not like the MBA Conquerors has school specific pages that provide useful advice on the stories. But even if it was there, who has the time to move their 🍑 and watch it? Because let's get rejected but not do the right thing and share the links of those free articles with our friends!
REASON 5
YOU GOT A DUMBBELL
You cannot be involved in your LOR coz y'all are so truthful... nudge nudge wink wink... so when it comes to what the boss needs to say about you, you just let him. Ain't that something! Did you at least try to influence what would stand out or did you show him the DIY LOR articles from MBA Conquerors so he can do the job to endorse you right? Of course you did. And the dumbbell could have written all kinds of catchphrases that are totally coherent with your essays.
REASON 6
YOU ARE QUICK, JUST LIKE IN EVERYTHING ELSE
No one wants someone who is rushing things because someone forgot to take care of the timeline. The time maintenance people would love to see you in their business! You did things too fast and now, the admissions team is furious. Coz they want you to be a part of their family.... UNTIL YOU ARE 90!! and family wants you to spend more time with them. It is not like MBA Conquerors provided free stuff for coffee chats and events attendance so you can show them how much they mean to you and do your research before submitting just anything because someone told you R1 is the easiest!
REASON 7
YOU JUST WANT IT ALL AT ONCE
Just like how you want everything all at once from this blog! It is not like there is gonna be a pilot run for a snarky post to see how people respond so there can be a sequel to this! Yeah, that's right, another click bait will be coming soon, let's see if you fall for it. Until then, go home, take some time to cry about how you could have taken a free DIY page of MBA Conquerors or hired an expert anywhere but didn't! The second one will be coming soon!
Did I just hear a symphony of 🍑clench? Meh... why would I care... just go home, the company only had budget for 7 reasons.
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